Run It Out

Rejection. Sucks. No matter where or who it comes from, no matter the circumstances—it totally sucks. God, I feel like I’ve had so much of it since I got to Colorado.

And I keep wondering why.

Because I’m not choosing the safe route for once in my life?
Because I’m letting people into my heart?
Because I’ve decided to be exactly who I am and tell people exactly how I feel?
Because I’m an INFJ and I feel things harder and more intensely than others?

Does all of that make me a little more susceptible to rejection? Is that the price I pay? It hurts right now. That’s all I know.

Timothy Goodman is the realest.

So last week, instead of sitting and thinking and dwelling, I got up and met the sunrise for a run. Running from things when I lived in Florida was sorta my thing. (Read about my 1800-mile escape right here: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3 & 4, Day 5.) But I’m getting over that out here, and last week I really just wanted to run away a little bit—just for an hour or so. That’s fair, right?

Around 6:30 a.m., I popped in my AirPods (best bluetooth headphones ever), threw on my *new* favorite hat, and headed for the trails that have never told me no.

“I don’t think it’s possible to go out in nature and feel worse.”

That’s it. All I wanted on that frigid morning last week was to not feel worse. Danica Patrick said that and it stuck with me because I didn’t need life-changing magic to happen on the trails and I didn’t expect to suddenly come to terms with the endless obstacles put in my path toward finding my way out here… I just wanted the trails to make me feel not worse.

I listened to the snow crunch underneath my trail shoes, I felt THUNDER by Imagine Dragons beat against my eardrums.

And I thought more about this rejection thing.

And that maybe it’s not totally about me and it’s not happening to me. It’s just happening.

This person doesn’t want to date me…because they’re fresh off a relationship that went sour.

This agency doesn’t want to hire me…because they don’t have the budget right now.

These roommates didn’t choose me to be theirs…because one girl’s sister desperately needs a place to stay.

This run is especially painful…because I had a killer workout the day before. 

Things happen, ya know? I think part of experiencing rejection is looking at the other side of it instead of the piece that’s facing you. Dissect it a little. Maybe I’ll find a new someone who is ready for a relationship or a job who is growing money trees out back. 

I came back from my run feeling refreshed. Typical. And feeling like I’m not going to stop doing all those things: taking risks, sharing my heart, and saying what I feel…because I can totally take rejection these days. I still have a smile on my face and a little more faith that things will work out one day.

Unrelated: my new favorite thing is trucker hats for running. They keep my noggin surprisingly warm and they’re kinda cool. Who wears them? 

Keep pushing, PUSH ANIMALS >>>

One Reply to “Run It Out”

  1. YASSSS. I am so inspired by your openness to JUST BE YOU. That’s seriously what this life is about, and when we truly accept who we are unapologetically, life gets a little sweeter. Or so I hear, still working on this one myself. Rejection is painful regardless, but I assume it gets easier to deal with. Like running, better with practice.

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