A Little Bit Closer to Together

Florida broke me.

Wait, that’s not true. I loved Florida and still really miss it from time to time, but the Lindsay I was in Florida broke me. Because she sucked and she couldn’t see it. Because people told her that in softer but similar words and she didn’t listen or couldn’t listen or couldn’t get out of her own way enough to listen. She tried loving someone before she loved herself. She wasn’t living; she was getting by.

So when I finally broke into one million pieces, I left Florida and ran away to Colorado.

And when I crossed state lines, I thought I’d found it—IT. EVERYTHING. It almost made me sad that the happiness I felt moving here had taken so long to discover. The pieces were beginning to reassemble.

But…it’s also been a ride so far. If you follow me here you know Colorado hasn’t exactly welcomed me with open arms.

I was hit by a car while riding my bike eight days after I got here, then I totaled my car just a month later. Oh, and then there was an epic relationship fail. Although it’s been bumpy, I promised myself I’d stick it out for one year. It’s only fair.

But this last week made me feel like maybe I can do it—maybe I can survive out here. Maybe HERE is where I’ll finally heal up.

On Monday I got plates for my (new/used) car! The DMV is a horrible place that employs the most miserable humans on planet earth…but I was in and out in about an hour and a half, which is painless in the grand scheme.

I stepped out of the sterile office building and into the beautiful Colorado sunshine with plates in hand…and I just smiled…and then immediately texted my family. I felt like I was headed in the right direction. Another piece in place.

Then Tuesday. Tuesday a friend and I took advantage of the daylight savings time evening sunshine and played around on our bikes for a couple hours. We rode into the mountains and watched the sunset turn everything yellow then orange then dark blue and finally pitch black.

It was so great that we did it again on Wednesday night. He’s also a new Coloradan, so he gets the learning and growing pains of navigating a new city. It was nice to chat with someone who still has perspective on that.  I’ll scream if one more person tells me, “Don’t worry. It will get better.” or some other very generic version of that. 

I’d rather hear, “Yeah, it sucks, and I’m here for you.”

I didn’t love riding dirt with my skinny tires, but I loved our conversation so I took the rattling.

Very, very slowly but surely things are starting to fall back together. I’m getting to ride some more, I’m meeting more people, and I ordered a bed frame which arrived yesterday. So, things are getting pretty adult.

Everyone keeps telling me how great the summers are in Colorado, so that’s something else to look forward to. And I think my parents will visit eventually?

And if I finally get that haircut I’ve been meaning to schedule since like forever…we’ll really be in business. It’s good, guys.

Thanks for reading. And I hope you don’t have to go to the DMV any time soon. Push on, PUSH ANIMALS >>>

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