Let It Be Enough. And Other Things I Thought At My Desk

Sometimes my mind wanders…here’s where it went this afternoon:

(1) One of my friends ran a marathon this weekend. An Internet friend. We’ve never met, but I know she’s the shit. She posted about it all over social media, and I loved following it. I was really excited for her because she was really excited about it. That’s how friendship works, even on the Internet.

I woke up this morning and ran my own run as I do every Monday before I drive to Denver for work. It wasn’t a marathon by any means and it hurt like hell and I hated 75% of it. But I did it and even through the hurting and the hell and this weird foot pain I’ve developed in the last month, I still enjoyed it. It was what I could do and that was enough for me. I’d even say it was even more than enough because it was something.

I miss marathoning. I miss the training and the suffering of marathon training, but I have a neurological disorder that has gotten much worse the past couple years, and I know my big run days are over unless I start treatment again. I hope if you feel this, I hope you know what you’re doing is enough because you’re doing something.

(2) On my non-marathon run this morning I listened to Ali and Ashley gab about Ashley’s BQ at the Chicago Marathon (not the friend from #1).

Ashley’s advice for marathoning is to make sure you love the training or at least find something GOOD about stepping outside the door every day. I think that’s true for any big goal, right? If you want something bad enough, you have to want the process just as badly. Crossing the finish line and hanging the medal around your next won’t be as sweet or satisfying.

(3) It only took 9 years, but I feel like an athlete again.

I think I self-identified as one for awhile, but when Dystonia took me out of competitive running, I felt lost. All my plans of post-collegiate racing went down the drain. Until this year. When I started racing cyclocross, I felt like I had rejoined the athlete community and that I had a real shot at this thing. All the fundamental requirements of being and competing as an athlete came flooding back: the training, the cross-training, the resting, the racing, the nerves, the expectations, the setbacks, the questions, the learning curves. I feel like this part of me was so lost for so long and finding my way back into competitive sport has been incredible.

(4) Fall riding is so good. 

It’s a gift from the cycling gods…unless you live somewhere painfully hot and humid like Florida. I spent eight years choking on that thick air, and then I moved to Colorado last year and I’ve been thoroughly spoiled since then with 300+ days of sunshine and more mountains and dirt roads than I probably deserve. Last year around this time it was all about the fall running for me. I hadn’t quite jumped into the cycling scene yet and dedicated most of my free time to finding a job and figuring out how to get places without using Google Maps. In between all that, I sort of missed the Fall riding season. When I finally braved the cold weather, it was COLD and definitely wintertime. I definitely spent more time on my indoor trainer than I wanted and, before I knew it, it was spring. I think we have a couple more weeks of relatively warm riding left before winter creeps in. I’m going to make the most of it.

Where does your brain go when you’re avoiding work…at work?

Push on, PUSH ANIMALS >>>

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