As I’m Nearing 30

We’re just a couple weeks out from the big 3-0 on October 3rd, and do you know something? I’m so fucking ready to be out of my 20s.

Two years ago, I was terrified of this milestone. I couldn’t believe I was already deep into my late 20s and nearing the next decade. Aging! The horror! I was scared and frustrated with myself for not being further along in life…whatever that means. Society says your 20s should be the best time of your life, but for me that decade was filled with so many hard lessons, so much change, heartbreak, and disappointment. The worst part is I put most of that on myself. I think our 30s is when we’re supposed to learn from those lessons and mistakes and begin a newer, wiser chapter. I think 30 is when we’re supposed to get our shit together and make leaps and bounds toward our dreams. I definitely don’t have it all together, but my move to Colorado in 2017 felt like two giant steps in that direction.

Here are some thoughts as I’m nearing 30…

I need to take care of my face the way I should’ve for the past 10 years living under the punishing Florida sun. I started investing in better skin care products. I even bought an evening toner. I love my freckles but not the stray sun spots I’ve collected over the years. One of my great aunts is in her 80s and she has beautiful skin. I’m sure a good portion of that is genetics, but I think another and very important portion of that is making skin care a daily practice. Have you all used that horrifying Face App that ages you several decades? I refuse to do it; it’s so real! I’ll keep my wrinkles a surprise, thank you very much.

When it comes to what I’m putting in my body, I’m reading ingredient lists, not the nutritional information panel. I’ve been doing this for a little bit now, but these days I’m even more aware that fewer ingredients is usually better as well as whether or not I can pronounce them. Years ago, I only cared about the numbers, not if the food was actual food. We’re on a better path these days.

Speaking of: as I’m nearing 30—and especially in the last year and a half—I’ve gained weight. For the most part, I’m pretty fine with it. (Buying a whole new wardrobe is honestly the most painful part.) I wouldn’t have been ok with this just a couple years ago. But I think it’s where my body is starting to settle. It’s the weight at which I get a regular period, and a funny thing has happened: I’m starting to wonder if maybe I want children one day. In my experience, I’m starting to believe that when my body couldn’t have a period, it turned off the desire for children in my brain and soul. Because it couldn’t have them in that state. A couple months ago when my co-workers brought their kids to work, I pictured myself with my own in a car seat in the back of my SUV. It was a wild and foreign feeling because I’d never felt the desire to start a family. Ever. Maybe it’s my body letting me feel these feelings now. Because it’s safer and more possible than it used to be. Just a theory. I guess the man comes first, though, huh?

Inching closer to 30, I’m prioritizing travel over buying things. Going places. Visiting friends and family. Buying tickets not big ticket items. Cycling cool towns and races. Hiking hidden trails. In the past year, I’ve caught myself buying less stuff and taking more days off work so I can do stuff. And it’s great that most companies here value and celebrate that. Living in Colorado has massively shifted my priorities. If you take one thing away from this post, it’s that we get ONE. LIFE. to see this great big world, and if we don’t use it wisely, it’s a waste of our one chance to live on this amazing planet. *Gets off soapbox.*

Getting closer to 30, I’m learning more about the political climate. And I have a huge confession that I’ve never ever told anyone: I’ve never voted in a presidential election. I’ve felt a lot of shame for that as it’s a true privilege in the United States. Not only did I feel like my vote didn’t matter, but I also didn’t want to use my one vote (which actually does matter) to vote for a candidate I hadn’t followed or researched liberally. I’ve never been interested in politics or government, but these days I’m finding it fascinating…and a little sad at times. The agendas. The corruption. But…the potential. There are good people and there’s good in everyone. I want to learn about those people and then vote for them. Most recently I’ve been listening to the Today, Explained podcast, which touches on a variety of topics but lots of them are political and include news from all around the globe. Very interesting. Check it out.

On the heels of 30, I’m not dating. I haven’t dated in almost two years, and that gets to me more often than not. My sister is married with her second child on the way. Friend after friend is either getting engaged or married. A high school girlfriend just announced her first pregnancy on Facebook.LOL is that really all that happens on Facebook these days? So, yeah. I’m getting antsy. I feel behind. I feel like Charlotte in Sex and the City most days. “I’m tired, where is he??” she shouted at her friends at brunch one morning. I have been alone longer than I haven’t and, you know what? Maybe I want to cook dinner for two one night? Maybe I want to complain that my in-laws are in town one weekend. Maybe I want to fight about nothing with someone every now and then. I’m rambling.

As I’m nearing 30, I’m hoping things only keep getting better. Let’s do this.

10 Replies to “As I’m Nearing 30”

  1. Love love love LOVE everything about this post and you being so real about it. I struggle with the same things and agree on the experiences and less on just “stuff.” Speaking of experiences, include a trip to st. Pete to see me!!!! You’re more then welcome and we would have the BEST time. ❤️👌🏻

  2. I just turned 27 and I find I’ve been worrying a lot about whether I’m “far enough” along with my career, my education, my accomplishments, my relationship, etc. But you’re right, aging doesn’t have to be a big deal and the best can be ahead of us, not behind us. Onwards!

    1. Age is literally just a number and it means almost nothing, which is so refreshing. Expectations are silly and I think we’re all on our own independent journeys and they’re all RIGHT. Keep on doing you.

  3. This post is a moooood. I turned 30 in February, and I relate to this so hard. Specifically with caring about my skin more, I used to BAKE in tanning beds, and I am so mortified I used to do that. Now I cover my face with sunscreen, hats, shade, ANYTHING! I still struggle with the weight gain, but really try to make progress. I still don’t have a regular period, so that’s something I am trying to focus on more. As for dating…girl. I haven’t dated in over five years…sometimes I don’t even remember what it is like to be in a relationship. I don’t stress much over this though, I know the time will come. Very rarely I wish I had a partner to explore more with, but overall I’m content.

    1. 30 is kind of a trip, isn’t it? I think it has put so many things in perspective all at once; like what matters and what doesn’t. I was talking to my mom on the phone about something/someone and suddenly I said, “I just turned 30, so I stopped caring what people think about me two days ago.” It felt so right and so true, haha. I love this age so far!

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