When quarantine began more than a month ago, I was devastated and scared as the unknowns piled up one after the other. A week went by and I began to feel suffocated by my own walls, the pictures that hang on them, the books on my shelves. Three weeks later the loneliness really took hold of my emotions. I craved connection, an honest to goodness conversation, a hug. Week six, I woke up happy again; motivated to work, excited for bike rides, runs, and new books.
^^^ A snap from my trail run this morning. Look at those BLUE BLUE skies. Heaven.
I’ve adapted to this situation like we all have, but we’re riding waves here.
Last week, on a family Zoom call, we sort of ran out of things to talk about because no one is doing anything. How many times can you discuss the weather and what you made for dinner that week? The thrill of new experiences and the joy of sharing them is lacking for everyone right now. I think our call lasted less than 20 minutes, which is a record low.
I’m not sure when I’ll see my family again because traveling feels kinda funky these days. I was supposed to see my mom a month ago, but her trip was cancelled. And with the way things are (and aren’t) progressing, I’m not sure I’ll make it to my family’s lake house in New Jersey for our annual Fourth of July party. Everything is up in the air including hope.
Last week is also when I started seeing friends getting together again on social media. At first I was mad because that is the exact opposite of all the rules and regulations put in place to contain this thing. But then, I wondered when it would be ok for us to ease back together again. When would it be acceptable to start seeing people gathering? What does that transition look like? When do we stop shaming them and start accepting it? Businesses have begun to open at reduced capacity, stores are slowly opening their doors, restaurants are serving. It’s encouraging, but when do the judgey stares turn into smiles? When do people stop jumping off the sidewalks into traffic in the name of physical distancing? That one really gets me…
I heard my neighbor talking to someone on the phone about masks the other day. He said, “I’ll probably wear one the rest of the year. What’s it to me to wear a mask?” He had a point, but does it take a social, mental, and emotional toll on us when we see people still wearing masks six months from now? With such a hysterical, follow-the-leader mindset we all seem to have these days, clear and concrete direction will need to come from the top as to whether it’s safe and acceptable to leave them at home—and that will need to be adopted by everyone. I don’t know where I’m going with this. Just thinking out loud, you know?
Are my first world problems exhausting you like they are me? Here’s some good stuff.
One thing I’ve loved lately is Leandra’s dispatches on Man Repeller. I’ve talked about these in another post. Her dispatches are just voice notes she posts on IGTV; she talks about her days in quarantine, her thoughts about the situation, her feelings as she’s walking outside on the empty streets of New York City for the first time in a week. The sound of jackhammering is somehow soothing to her. It feels like listening to a wise, thoughtful, mature friend speak to you and somehow touch on everything you’ve been feeling but somehow can’t explain with your own words. I really love her voice, too.
HIGHLY recommend. Actually, it’s required listening from me to you. Find them here.
I think this will be my last quarantine-by-the-week post because, well, there’s only so much same-ness you can share without wondering why you started typing in the first place. Have a good week.
What’s bringing you a little joy these days?